Reluctant Suitor

Spring is uncertain this year. If it were a young man whose thoughts turn to love, he would look at his cell phone, scroll down to the number of his object of desire, and hesitate, when he should punch the send icon. With cool indifference one minute and the hint of a thaw the next, his seeming inattentiveness masks anxiety about commitment.

It takes a great deal of energy to maintain an indifferent facade. The effort to keep things under control requires an unrelenting attention to presenting an icy world that only the brave and foolish of heart will venture into. When the effort to maintain becomes exhausting, a breach is possible and the smile of sunshine or laugh of a warm southern breeze, melts tenacious resolve.

As ice crystals shatter, making way for open water, it is hard to let go. Old patterns break down reluctantly, even with the concerted exertions of those who try to shovel impediments out of the way. There is retreat, withdrawal and reassertion, but the heat is on and will have its way.

The young man of spring finally gives in, tired of fighting ambivalence, and punches the damn send button, green his reward.

Author: Doug Lewandowski

I have walked a varied path. I was a Christian Brother, an English teacher/counselor and Licensed Psychologist. I have a twice monthly column in the Duluth News Tribune and have had a story published in the Nemadji Review and placed third in this year’s Jade Ring contest of the Wisconsin Writer’s Association. I was a commentator for KCRB, Minnesota Public Radio in the 90s. I transplanted to Duluth to be closer to grandchildren.

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